In short
Dr Tej Samani says exam anxiety is less about the exam than the identity and meaning a child attaches to it. Parents can help in two steps: reframe exams as a snapshot of knowledge and skills, not a verdict on who the child is, then reduce triggers with a calm study space, a realistic routine, good sleep and encouraging language.
Key takeaways
- Dr Tej says exam anxiety comes from the identity and meaning a child attaches to exams.
- Remind your child that results measure knowledge at one moment, not their personality or worth.
- A quiet, tidy, well-lit revision space free from distractions helps lower anxiety.
- Swap all-or-nothing schedules for short study bursts, regular breaks, nutritious meals and plenty of sleep.
- Phrases like ‘I’m proud of your effort’ and ‘you’re more than a grade’ help.
During exam season, it’s common for teens to feel anxious.
Whether they’re working toward GCSEs or A Levels, the weight of expectations (both their own and others’) can be overwhelming.
You might notice your child becoming more withdrawn, irritable or down in the dumps. Perhaps they’re putting themselves under too much pressure to succeed, or they’re feeling lost and unsure where to begin.
As a parent, carer or teacher, it’s natural to want to take that anxiety away. And while you can’t sit the exams for them, what you can do is offer reassurance and perspective.
Believe it or not, that emotional support is the very thing they need most during this time, says Dr. Tej Samani, education coach and founder of Performance Learning.
He says: “It’s going to sound controversial, but exam anxiety has nothing to do with the exam itself.
“It’s everything to do with the identity and meaning your child is putting towards those exams.”
Dr. Tej has a failsafe two-step strategy to stop exam anxiety in seconds.
Step 1: Reframe the meaning of exams
For many young people, exams feel like more than just a test – they feel like a verdict.
As parents, carers and teachers, the most important thing you can do is help a child see that their exam results are just that – results.
They measure knowledge and skills at a moment in time, not a child’s personality, creativity, kindness or the challenges they’ve had to overcome.
Reminding youngsters of this truth helps them mentally separate who they are from how they perform.
The result? Boosted confidence, which always leads to boosted exam grades.
Step 2: Reduce exam anxiety triggers
Exam anxiety often isn’t just about the test itself, but about the buildup.
From poor sleep and disjointed routines to unrealistic revision schedules, anxiety can be triggered by several factors in a child’s environment and daily habits.
Cluttered, noisy or chaotic spaces can raise anxiety levels. So, your first port of call should be to set up a dedicated, tidy space for revision that’s quiet, well-lit and free from distractions.
Likewise, all-or-nothing revision schedules can heighten anxiety. Instead, help your child build a realistic daily routine that includes short bursts of study, regular breaks, nutritious meals and plenty of sleep.
Structure brings predictability, which is the key to stop exam anxiety.
Mindful language (e.g. “I’m proud of your effort”, “you’re more than a grade”) can do wonders for an anxious youngster, too.
Frequently asked questions
What causes exam anxiety in teenagers?
According to Dr Tej Samani, exam anxiety has less to do with the exam itself and more to do with the identity and meaning a young person attaches to it. For many, exams feel like a verdict on who they are. The build-up also plays a part: poor sleep, disjointed routines, unrealistic revision schedules and cluttered or noisy spaces can all trigger anxiety.
How can I help my child stop feeling anxious about exams?
Use Dr Tej’s two steps. First, reframe what exams mean: results measure knowledge and skills at a moment in time, not your child’s personality, creativity or kindness. Second, reduce triggers by setting up a quiet, tidy revision space and building a realistic routine with short study bursts, regular breaks, nutritious meals and plenty of sleep. Structure brings predictability, which eases anxiety.
What should I say to a child who is stressed about exams?
Offer reassurance and perspective rather than pressure, because emotional support is what anxious young people need most during exam season. Mindful language helps, such as ‘I’m proud of your effort’ or ‘you’re more than a grade’. Reminding your child that results are just results helps them separate who they are from how they perform, which builds their confidence.
What are the signs my child has exam anxiety?
During exam season you might notice your child becoming more withdrawn, irritable or down in the dumps. Some put themselves under too much pressure to succeed, while others feel lost and unsure where to begin. These feelings are common in teenagers working towards GCSEs or A Levels, because the weight of their own and others’ expectations can feel overwhelming.
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